things that i wish were not associated with me

• drooling in my sleep
• snoring
• losing my temper or what some people call – PMS – perpetual menstrual syndrome
• eating because i am bored, lonely, happy, angry – just eating because i can
• laziness
• sunrise phobia (hate waking up with the sun)
• need to be right, always (a mere misconception)
• hang-ups for the asking
• quick to find fault (almost always accurate in my fault-finding; but now that’s virtue)
• certain ‘acquaintances’ (not strictly a thing, but if you meet some of them you will understand both why i dub them a thing & why i don’t want to be associated with me)
• fb-itis
• compulsive ear-digger, and buds won’t do. i use the rather violent metal version
• snootiness (i prefer to socialise with those who can stimulate me; people who are smart, well-read and knowledgeable. that doesn’t mean me i am a snob — it only means i can’t suffer fools and their close cousins)

what are your private (and soon to be public embarrassments?) tag yourselves, and to kick off, i tag

shyam, teesu, inba, blogeswari mainly because i think/hope (as a certain Ms T would say) they will oblige.

my shoe rhyme still holds good

i wrote this and put it up on the door in 2002 when O was just over 8 months and all over the place. It now holds good for N too…

O loves to chew

Everything including you shoe

So please leave your footwear outside

Lest she ingests processed hide

Till she learns food is better than boot

You’ve got to enter this house barefoot

 

Juvenile yes, but got the message across all the same.

 

what bugs you about email/tech etiquette?

i wonder about email/online/tech etiquette.

certain things are clear enough, but some are real confusing.

caps in sms-es or emails is either emphasis or just plain old screaming

you start mails with a salutation, you address the person by his/her name

you can relax some of the rules if it’s with friends.

but emails and texts are now an accepted form of formal/official communication. given that the mode of communication itself is curt and crisp, shouldn’t extra care be taken on the tone?

i receive on an average 150 emails a day. a lot if is sickeningly sweet and ‘correct’ PRs and requests. some are downright rude; and some are plain confusing. you can’t quite make out the person or the intention.

i am careful about passing judgements and jumping to conclusions (probably because i am prone to).

i understand that even face-to-face words and actions can be misconstrued. so chances of distortion are greater in an email or text.

still there are cases that bother me.

here is my crib list.

1. for me, when i get mails without a proper address/salutation, it annoys me.
2. when people send text in all caps, i wonder why he/she wants to be loud about the message.
3. when people reply-all to messages that DON’T require it, it gets to me.
4. i hate BCCs. it’s not FAIR.
5. why the hell do people attach 8, 9, 15 and even 26mb attachments? it messes with the server, and hello, haven’t they heard of FTP sites? It’s free.
6. and i find read receipts painful.
7. i HATE it when people are constantly texting or are on calls while in a group. i don’t mind a one-off, or even a couple. but not if they are doing it the entire duration of a meeting or dinner.
8. loud disco dandiya ring tones in hospital, theatres, and schools are not ok.
9. there should also be a limit on the forwards you send. check with the recipients if it’s welcome.

 

so tell me what really pisses you off? i am all ears and eyes.

 

 

 

 

 

qatar surprises

…quite a few at that.

last weekend was good as we spent a good amount of time driving around Qatar.

the first evening with my friend it was towards Al Khor, off to Shimaisma.

friday was spent going northwest, towards Dukhan, Zikrit and Umm Bab.

what made it all the more interesting was the fact that i was behind the wheels. (have i mentioned that i LOVE driving. almost as much as i HATE warming the passenger seat.)  i schemed and plotted and got all the guys into one car, offering to cart the kids and the wives. worked like magic!

the beaches are not the kinds i ideally like and am used to – sandy stretches and strong waves.  still just the sight of the sea and some sand is good enough.

but the fun was in the journey itself, which included some offroad driving.

moments included:

to the embarrasment of the men, asking the occupants of a private tent/camp if we could use their loo. nothing can hold back a woman who needs to pee.

stopping traffic on the highway to photograph and enjoy a herd of camels that were crossing the road. while other vehicles tried to inch their way around the herd, we just stopped dead in our tracks cos both mums and kids were highly thrilled to see the herd.

the alpha male apparently showed some attitude to the ‘male’ car ahead of us. but was rather gentle with us, barring the scary jaws/teeth.

playing french cricket, and realising that i am so UNATHLETIC, that even if a sport required me to stay rooted in a spot i fail…

O is used to trips and outings, so good behaviour is a given. but N was an absolute brick. she loved the outing, and couldn’t hide her glee and had a ball. of course this trip was tame compared to the adventure last month when we took her dune bashing (she was strapped on to me), and she had her first feel of both the desert and the sea.

peeing in a public restroom on our way back and getting a ’sniff’ of home. needless to say, that’s a sniff we could have well done without.

you should never send the guys out to do the shopping. they came back with tennis balls, cricket bats, umbrellas, frisbees; and totally forgot necessities like baby food and laban. the women were as usual well-prepared, so back up was ready.

i am sure there are atleast a few more dozens of kilometres of Qatar to discover. that’s for another weekend.

 

ps: there is this ‘thankful for’ thing going on fb/twitter. everyday you come up with something you are thankful for. i’ve done 4 so far… come on, take up the challenge. be grateful. it really makes you feel better.

the simplest things work magic

like this evening. i’ve had an exceptionally tough few weeks. unbelievable work pressure, O falling ill, petty politics…

and not to mention grappling with unsolicited judgements on my mothering and home-making skills.

and through it all, the lack of friends i’m used to and can trust, didn’t help.

i know one part of the problem is entirely my fault — i started ignoring the firm, clear line i have always drawn between the personal and professional. i’ve been thinking about it, and i realised that my hormones went for a toss during my pregnancy, and the lines blurred, the tongue loosened.  i never got the focus back. time to get back in control. NOW.

but meanwhile, i have a few (very few), carefully selected friends here. i can’t call them best friends. but they are MY FRIENDS.

Not friends because our spouses get along, or because our children are buddies, or because in an alien land, ‘friend’ is the tag you give to people whom you don’t dislike.

just MY friends.

today one of them came to my rescue. when i dashed off a mail full of self-pity on how since 2007 I haven’t had a proper holiday because i’ve been too busy working, being pregnant and handling a new-born; and as much as i love all the good things happening to me, i was TIRED!

instead of binning the mail or giving a courtesy reply, she gave me options (i haven’t taken her permission to reproduce this, but i am sure she won’t mind):

1. If you are in the mood for a drive, and like being driven around while you just sit and listen to easy music – you just sit and I’ll do the driving!

2. If you think flavored tea  or coffee sounds a better idea – let’s do that.

3. If you want to just come out and be grumpy and not say much – let’s do that.

4. If you want to go out and eat whatever feels sinful – let’s do that.

5. If you want to go to a salon and have someone just give you a head massage while you doze off – let’s do that – my treat.

6. If you have better ideas – I am all ears.

we didn’t do 3 and 5; 6 was not required, her ideas were fantastic enough. and as for 1, i did the driving.

so we spent a wonderful 3+ hours driving and chatting. and spoke of the silly, the important, the good, the bad. my kids with the baby-sitter, hers with her husband.

i hardly spoke of what really bothered me, but by the end of the evening, i felt refreshed. no answers really to the million things worrying me, but lots of leads.

i am going to be easier on myself;

i will wait for my daughters to grow up and pass judgement on me (so, no thank you, all!);

will redraw the line, a little softer this time;

tighten the tongue a bit, but not too much — because now it’s a matter of survival;

i will say no, and i WILL slack off a bit — i DESERVE it;

& while i am at it, i am going to go easy on judging others too. live & let live.

thanks K!