Surprising how claustrophobic loneliness feels…

The mind is knotted up,

Clear thinking abandoned.

It’s that feeling of being eaten up,

From the inside,

While being swallowed whole.

Like holding a balloon that continues to inflate beyond reason

Pushing you inwards, while tipping you over.

A guilt so strong,

Because the grief is so big

And it’s not yours to mourn.

It easily could have been, though

So comes the fear. A crippling fear.

Familiar places look demonic

Everyday actions seem fatal.

It no longer feels like the solitude you seek,

Just loneliness.

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Umm Oviya + Nilah = Mother of Oviya + Nilah. Because in the Arab world a woman is first addressed as bint X (daughter of X) and then once she has a son (Y) she is Umm Y. I am not sexist, so don't mind surrendering my identity to my daughters.

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6 comments on “Surprising how claustrophobic loneliness feels…
  1. Kisara says:

    Beautiful… sad and haunting and truthful and beautiful.

  2. You’ve expressed beautifully what so many of us are very sadly feeling

  3. Navina Anand says:

    Profound. Loved it.

  4. Seetha says:

    So, comes the fear. A crippling fear.

    Exact thoughts!

    Scary, cannot wipe it out, psyched, how can one have a restful sleep!

  5. Seetha says:

    Too sad and shocked, your words have expressed what’s on mind for most.

  6. Yup, loneliness can be claustrophobic!!

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