insanely worried about insanity

i am. so worried about it.
i’d rather have some debilitating physical illness (must i choose?).
and i am quite happy with my current level of insanity. i don’t want that to accelerate.
it’s not insanity=madness.
i am talking about mental illnesses in general.
chronic depression, alzheimer’s, bipolar disorders…
it scares the crap out of me. to not be in control of my senses.
at almost 34, every time a mobile number dodges my memory, or i forget a name, i reach a state of panic. Early onset?
and of course this fear has been amply supported by an am-palmist friend (or is she?), who is quite sure the break in my ‘mind line’ must mean a period of insanity. Can’t it please mean, that i only have a crooked mind?
now whether fate has insanity in store for me or not, all this worrying could easily tip me over the edge…

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