still not weaned

that’s me
two days ago, the baby cot was dismantled, and a new, bigger one was set up, right next to our double bed.
after 6 years and 3 months of sleeping in the same baby cot, she nods off to sleep without so much as a murmur of nostalgia. me? i stayed up a couple of hours, fretting over my baby, who needs a cot, not a crib.
then today, it was time for the high chair to join the crib on the loft. She hasn’t used it in a year, but it tore my heart to put it away. finally we did it today. again, it is i who stares at the vacant space next to the dining table.
it is breast feeding all over again. the night, when she was 14 months old, i decided to give her a sipper of milk instead of the regular feed, she only gave me a quizzical look and grabbed the sipper.
and i spend the next several nights weaning myself off her feeding, as she sipped her milk from the silly pink and blue cup.


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