where are the boundaries?

i was attending a couple of weddings last month, and absolute strangers and stranger relatives, came up to me and commented on how fat i looked. how i looked older than my eldest sister who is 13 years my senior.
and they were so gleeful to point out my weight problems… like i needed reminding. who the eff goes shopping for me, and do i look like i don’t own a mirror?
people — mainly in india and bangladesh — know no boundaries. if they remotely know your third cousin’s neighbour’s cat’s one night stand, they feel they have the right to comment on you.
the temptation is strong to tell the one who called me a heavy weight champion that sagging bra straps are not particularly appealing, neither are hawai chappals with kanjeevaram silks. i maybe fat, but at least i have style!
and then i want to tell that idiot — who squeezed various parts of my body to illustrate her comments — that if you have to colour your hair, make sure the dye doesn’t leave a trail behind your ear and down your neck!
what about the one who looks about 15months pregnant, though the rest of her looks anorexic? should i ask her when she is going to birth the calf?
there is so much to be said about so many people — mean, nasty, honest truth. but that’s when your sense of reasoning is supposed to kick in. where you weigh your words and draw the line. does my big mouth and self-important opinions make a difference to the world? no? then zip it!

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5 thoughts on “where are the boundaries?

  1. Blogeswari says:

    yo vones! you are bang on!
    my family members (Extended and exxxxtended family members ) dare not comment on my weight but yes, I wanted to slap that one idiotic acquaintance who I was meeting after almost 2 years when he said “hey how are you… u are looking… fat and fit..” dhoda sotta tala, I wanted to say!

    but what do I do about my friends (oh ya and the very close friends at that) who most often ask ” so eppo planning?”

  2. shyam says:

    “When is she going to birth the calf”??? Bwahahahaha! Yeah, Indians and Africans dont shy away from being incredibly personal even if they dont know you. I dont tell near strangers that their BO makes me hold my breath, do I? On second thoughts, perhaps I should…

  3. Sonia says:

    Ha! And salaries? Dont we loooove discussing pay-packs? Knowing this, I still am at a loss when I am asked about my wages! Though I practise saying “Oh, and why would you like to know”, I never do.

  4. umm oviya says:

    b: that planning question is such a bloody pain in the ass. how is it anyone but the couple’s biz. are they going to wash dirty bums and clean snotty noses?
    s1: about bo? seriously is there a nice way of telling people. people who are not too bad otherwise… feel it’s meaner to keep quiet
    s2: salary… i always tell them it’s real low and difficult to manage. then they shut up. they are not going to ask how low. but if you say good, then they will want to know the breakdown.

  5. Teesu says:

    I still LOATHE the idea of anyone commenting about my weight. yes, sure, I have weight problems. Big ones. But do I WANT any Tom, Dick or harry to discuss it with me? Nope. I have been so damn affected that I am constantly ‘steeled’ against any comment that may or may not come…from anyone — relative or friend or stranger. Not a good place to be in my friend. Like Damocle’s fat sword whatever that is. I must chant ‘be breezy’ to myself a hundred times I think.:( and the pay and planning things? Ugh.All are equally BAD.

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