Multi-tasking Me

**really long, angry, upset and sometimes incoherent rant ahead**

“i am an AMAZING multi-tasker. And I don’t take kindly to remarks like ‘having lots of time on hand’. I call it efficiency. i call it prioritising, work, home, pleasure… it’s not just about babe in arms, child in school, a home, a full-time career and my online buzzing…got the energy, so expending it :)”

**the smiley was not heartfelt. Just put there to temper the vitriol a bit** 

That’s what I told someone on fb, who had the cheek to post this on her status line: “V, You seem to have a lot of time on hand. Who takes care of the baby? should get some time management lessons from you…”

I probably over-reacted as I am wont to, and acted all ‘pouncy’ (as a friend described it).

But I am so fed up with comments on this vein, since this is not the first time and it won’t be the last that I hear of this nonsense.

Just because I have a new born, am I supposed to abandon all efforts at a life outside of that?

I am going to give up all pretence of modesty here. I pack in more into a single day than what some wouldn’t manage to even in a week. It’s not all hunky-dory either. I over extend myself, feel fatigued and neglect my health. Those are choices, wise or otherwise, that I am making.

I am not proud or vain about it.

I AM THAT WAY, that’s all.

I have a career, and doing not too badly on that front. I find time for my regular pedicures and waxing. I have a lot of friends, and keep in regular touch with almost all of them. I love to read, and do read a lot. I am enamoured by the internet, and can’t have enough of all that it throws up. I am quite a hands-on mum (and hands-on wife, if you know what I mean ;)).

There I go again with my winky and smiley. GRR! I must learn to communicate better with words, without resorting to emoticons.
Especially since words are my livelihood.

So it really pisses me off when people think I do all this because I have lots of time.

I have the 24hours a day that all of us are entitled to. If I choose to be maniacal about filling every minute of it, it’s my bloody business. If you choose to sit at home with kids and husband the whole day, sweating over their every needs, that’s your ‘career choice’ and I respect that.

I respect it a LOT in fact, because I DON’T cook AT ALL and DON’T keep house too often.

I would rather spend that time lounging with my daughters or playing Scrabble with my husband (that’s what we did when I went into a rather long labour). And when I am not doing any of that, I would rather read, blog, tweet or fb.

 What if I turned around and asked: “You are pretty useless aren’t you? You have 24 hours and don’t do much.”

How dare anyone insinuate that I am neglecting my maternal role. “who takes care of your baby?”

Coming from an ‘almost stranger’ I know it’s not concern. We schooled together some 20 years ago, along with a few hundred others. We were not even remotely friendly.

Come home and see for yourself. My children, husband and home are all well taken care of. The non-critical tasks like cooking and cleaning I’ve delegated.

Going back to the question that has got me all fired up: Indeed, who takes care of my baby(ies)? My husband and I. I manage to do all that I’ve stated above, AND ensure that N is EXCLUSIVELY breastfed. Just as I did for O.

**warning breastfeed rant coming up soon in a blog you know** 

I run to and fro office, catch up on calls on the road, make a dozen notes a day to ensure that I don’t slip up with O’s activities, and if a friend needs to chat, I find time for that as well! And as far as work goes, I am living my dream job. I do cry off exercise and health check-ups. Again, I don’t mention this in pride or vanity. I am only reiterating that this is who I am.

Maybe the person made the comment in all innocence. But I am not in a particularly charitable mood. In any case, charity doesn’t sit well on everybody.

The FATTY Factor of my reaction:

The reason I am “pouncy” is because for ever so long, I’ve described myself as a lazy person. This exchange on fb, made me rethink it, and made me angry at myself.

First of all, fat people have a way of dubbing themselves lazy. Come on, it’s not us, but our metabolism that is lazy. It’s almost as if we are explaining why all that extra fat sticks to us. “It’s ‘cos we are LAZY. Sorry.”

Once and for all, here is the final VERDICT that I pass on myself, to myself. I AM NOT LAZY. I just don’t do things I don’t care for. Like cooking and cleaning and visiting people I don’t like and calling people I don’t want to talk to. In these situations, I shamelessly will use and have used the lazy or no time or new-baby card.

I also desist from doing things because of a vague fear – like exercising. I know it’s good, but am too scared of it being ineffective that I drop out before I start. It’s definitely not for lack of time. That’s about the extent of my laziness. The rest of me is all fired up and ready to go.

Want to meet a tight deadline, and then take the kids swimming, then catch up for coffee, get kids into bed, and get back online to chat and tweet? Then you’ve got your girl.

Not because I have all the time in the world, but because I have my priorities set to my liking. (And also because fortunately (for the I in me) or unfortunately (for the wife in me), my husband works evening to night.

So if my kids, husband, family and friends have nothing to complain or comment about, no else has a right to.

PT if you are reading this, it is not a personal attack. I barely know you to make it one. But it’s my personal rant space where I vent, and try to get through to people if possible.

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12 thoughts on “Multi-tasking Me

  1. Sindhu says:

    Wow, that was a strong one, but we vouch for what you have said above…u r one great multi-tasker and I often wonder how you manage!

    i don’t always manage sindhu 😦 but i can live with my slip ups.

  2. Deeps says:

    Chill maar,UON!! You’re doing great,in fact there are certain people here who are in awe of you.Look around:))
    But its fine…its OK to do some venting out. Do you feel better now??

    really? you have no idea how much and how often i mess up. but my mess and i clear up after myself and will check out the tips. thanks.

  3. Deeps says:

    Hey,came back to tell u,if u hop over to my page,Solilo has given a link to one of her posts on some tips and features of WP that we can apply.
    Thought you’d be interested.

  4. Kerry M says:

    This is the reason why we should abstain frmo having random FB friends. Ah…you knew me 10yrs ago and want to look popular? Oh, well of course we can be FB friends for probably no reason whatsover….??? You said you didn’t want to go and spend time with people you didn’t really like? then why ‘spend time’ on them online? ‘Delete’ Vani…’Delete’….then have a big glass of vino to calm the heck down….or two…jsut don’t nelect the babes…;)

    Kerry fb is just a fun thing. it’s not the only or the main mode of maintaining my friendships. it’s networking pure and simple. and lots of fun with silly quizzes and games, that i can spend hours on, while my babies stay hungry and dirty 🙂

  5. MADHAV says:

    Haha, someone seems to have got on your nerves, but it resulted in a good read for me. Not that I enjoy your plight or something. You certainly do pack quite a bit into your day. Nice that you dont look down on home-makers either.
    Peace
    Madhav

    Doesn’t take much to get me going. I am known for my short fuse. Sadly

  6. Kiwi says:

    Hey V

    I’ve had similar things from many different sources at various stages in my life. But now, I am wise enuff to say, “I dont have to prove a bloody thing to anyone. I am what I am and just becoz u think i dont take care of N or whatever, that does not make it true. if you think that, that is your problem, not mine!” U be yourself!!!

  7. Hastobeme says:

    Loved the words in red!!!! Ppl r purely J to make comments like that!!! Jus ignore them .Not worth wastng ur energy for such comments…except for ofcourse this wonderful piece in the blog!

    So when are you restarting?

  8. PT says:

    V,

    I am really shocked to read that two sentences from me on fb has forced you to over-react (according to me) in this manner. Firstly, my apologies if it has hurt you in any way.

    As you have very well mentioned “Maybe the person made the comment in all innocence” and that is the fact. I should have phrased my sentences like ” You seem to be excellent at juggling all the tasks of a day quite well. Hats off to you for managing so well with a baby around.” Looks like that kind of an approach is what you are comfortable with.

    i care two hoots for compliments from people i don’t know. i only lap it up from folks whom i know.

    Your statement “How dare anyone insinuate that I am neglecting my maternal role. “who takes care of your baby?”
    I have not insulted the maternal role you are playing. Just caring to ask as to who takes care of the baby when you are at work.
    please refer to your lines again… if it had been on my wall or inbox, still ok. but on your status line!

    Why should I see for myself how you run your personal life. It is the prerogative of every individual as to how they want to live. You doing it or delegating is immaterial to me. Your writing tells me that you are trying hard to tell the world that your family is not complaining. Why should the world be bothered and why should you be explaining to strangers.

    yes, i’ve a long way to go before i am totally oblivious to what the world thinks. and i am not trying hard to tell any one anything. i am just telling it, as it is.

    Yes, ‘we schooled together some 20 years ago, along with a few hundred others’. ‘We were not even remotely friendly’. So I feel it would be better we keep it that way because the next time I write or talk I would need to check whether you are in a “charitable mood”. Unfortunately, that’s not the way I am either to an “almost stranger” or friend.

    @Blogeswari “FB has a lot of specimens – who will jump from wall to wall posting useless comments . Ignore them”.
    My advice to this person is that he/she should restrain from commenting about people unless you know them. Are all his/her comments “useful” and how does this person judge that I jump from Wall to Wall and post useless comments.

    Once again my apologies.

    Bye.
    PT

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