The Drunken Monkey wants a SUPERPOWER

I know what superpower I WANT.

Even though I am pretty sure it will drive me totally over the edge or unhinge my flailing sanity completely.

I want to be able to see myself from others’ eyes – literally and figuratively.

I want this knowing very well it would screw me up totally.

But isn’t that what makes for a good junkie… for the momentary high and feeling of power you don’t mind messing with your body and soul.

 

It’s not that I am oblivious to how I am perceived. But having the superpower will at best confirm the doubts or at worst shatter my ego.

 

So when O sees a disciplining me, does she see a monster head or a mother’s concern?

 

N sees a vending machine or an obsessive mum?

 

Do my friends see a trusty friend or a needy one?

 

When colleagues laugh at my ridiculous jokes, are they merely flattering me or is their humour really that pedestrian?

 

Is the cordiality an appraisal-ruse or a genuine camaraderie?

 

And when I am wearing what I consider a good ensemble, are those around me biting down a sarcasm?

 

When I fake a word of praise, am I found out?

 

When I pretend honesty, what happens?

 

What DOES R see?

 

… the list is endless and grows with every passing minute, every conversation, every exchange.

And it is quite clear why some people are more prone to madness than the rest.

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