… to control my temper.
Weekend shopping list includes 2 4 6 12 rubber bands. I’ll tell you why, by and by.
On March 8 (to celebrate IWD), O’s school organised a session with a neuropsychiatrist for mums of Grade 1 and 2 students.
Just a handful of us turned up for the session with Dr Madhu Pahwa. She spoke of cognitive skills, understanding and dealing with children in the age group (I am sure if it had been a session on how to make your child a genius, there would have been a record turnout).
I loved it that she spoke not only as an expert, but also as a working mother.
Firm and forceful in what she wanted to express; Kind and empathetic about the concerns we shared.
A minimum of 45 minutes of quality time every day, with your child, is a must. Working mothers who manage to do that – be it over a meal, playing a game, or just chatting – have nothing to feel guilty about. Yipee!
Here is something else – negative reinforcement is NOT bad. You can hold back privileges, ground them, ban them from doing what they like. Indulging in negotiations all the time – as some smug mums tell me they do – is not all that healthy.
Guess what else is not healthy – surprise! Surprise! – screaming mums.
She suggests that we wear a loose rubber band around our wrist; Every time you scream at the child, ping yourself with the band. Real hard. Apparently this works very well – by associating pain with an undesirable behaviour (in this case screaming), you get rid of the habit.
And no, you can’t have a rubber band around your child’s wrist – unfortunately, that will not have the desired effect. She made that very clear to one frustrated mother.
So since my screaming and temper attacks are not restricted to child alone, I am going to buy myself a whole bunch of rubber bands.
Colour-coded. Pink for O, blue for R, red for the office, one for family back home, one for the road…
So next time you meet me and see deep welts on my wrists, you know I’ve been trying hard.On second thoughts, what I need is probably not a dozen rubber bands, but a few sessions with Dr Pahwa on anger management! So tell me…