Pregnancy Scare. The tale is O-N!

Me:**washing N’s bum**

O:**Looking on, with a disgusted expression**

O: I am never going to have a baby.

Me: Why?

O: Because of this (pointing to the dirty diaper), but also because of the surgery and all. I don’t want anyone to cut me open.

Me: But you can have it the other way. The way you were born.

O: Even that is not so great (sic)!

Me: Ok, you don’t have to have children.

O: But I want to. I will adopt.

Me: You will still have to clean the baby’s potty.

O: That is ok, I can manage. But how can we really stop.

Me: Stop what?

O: Stop getting pregnant. What if I get pregnant.

Me: **Gape**

O: Tell me, amma. What if I get pregnant?

Me: You can control that.

O: How?

Me: When you are older I will explain…

O: Before I get pregnant ok?

She is 8 — old enough to sniff a lie and young enough to freak out. What would you do?


12 thoughts on “Pregnancy Scare. The tale is O-N!

  1. Anand says:

    Definitely a tricky one! The birds-and-the-bees song is not going to leave her too impressed.

    I suppose I would give her an overview of the whole relationships thing and leave out all the details for later.

    What you did is also pretty appropriate, I think. Although you’ve only postponed the inevitable.

    I think the culture the child grows up in is also important – here in Britain there is talk of sex ed from KG!

    All the best!!

  2. Indian Homemaker says:

    She is adorable and very smart! You could tell her about the egg and the sperm, and adopted children and cesarean section…

    My kids knew this much and learnt the rest from friends at, I think 10 and 9. They were disgusted… It wasn’t told in a way I would have liked them to know. So I had to talk to them, I remember it made my daughter decide to adopt because she was sure she would never want to do ‘all that’. When I called another mother to find out how she handled it (and to get some tips)- she said her daughter was ‘innocent’ and the kid quickly changes the TV channel if there are any ‘indecent’ scenes. So this child had not told her parents what she had just learnt, she either forgot or sensed the mother won’t like to know she knew 😦

  3. UmmON says:

    thanks guys.
    @anand: a local psych during a school prog suggested 9-10 as approp age for complete sex-ed.
    @indian homemaker: she knows about vaginal birth (cbeebies, farmer birthing a sheep and so i grabbed on the op to explain) and caesarean. she knows about adoption ‘cos quite a few adoptions in our circle and we were thinking of it too.
    i have a feeling she even knows ‘it’ starts with kissing and jumping around in bed πŸ™‚ , though that much she is yet to share with me.
    and i so identify with the last bit of what you said. i have so many parents telling me their sons don’t like to talk to girls, cos they are good boys! that their daughters close their eyes for the kissing scene… huh? excuse me, aren’t they curious? i would be.
    i do monitor what O reads/browses/watches, but largely there is a guideline. if it’s not about her age, it’s not for her. she is no angel, but she atleast knows what the parents feel is appropriate or not.

  4. Deeps says:

    O is a smart and sensible girl. And I really admire the way you’re bringing her up.
    I dont know what I’d do when Namnam comes up with such queries. Maybe the way you handled it is how I would too or, like how IHM mentioned-by telling her about the egg and sperm theory. When the situation presents itself thats when I’ll know for sure I guess ;).

    Its always better to be open and frank to your child and form a comfort level from early so as to be able to handle situations like this better. But sadly even today talking about sex, watching ‘a kissing scene’ is considered taboo.

  5. Deeps says:

    BTW,let me share an article that I recd as a mail-forward couple of days back. Its on. Its quite relevant to your post πŸ˜€

    “Middle Wife by a 2nd grade Teacher.

    I’ve been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.
    When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model
    airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they’re welcome.
    Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.
    She holds up a snapshot of an infant. ‘This is Luke, my baby brother, and I’m going to tell you about his birthday.’
    ‘First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom’s stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.’

    She’s standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I’m trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.

    ‘Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, ‘Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!’ Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. ‘She walked around the house for, like an hour, ‘Oh, oh, oh!’
    (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)

    ‘My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn’t have a sign on the car like the Domino’s man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.’ (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)

    ‘And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!’ (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)

    ‘Then the middle wife starts saying ‘push, push,’ and ‘breathe, breathe’. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom’s play-center, (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there.

    When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there. Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I’m sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it’s show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another ‘Middle Wife’ comes along.”

  6. From Facebook says:

    Sunita Srinivasan πŸ™‚ children are growing up fast and getting very perceptive too isn’t it… Till I became a mom, the potty cleaning chore of any of my nieces and nephews was something I abhorred.. so can relate to O defn πŸ™‚
    13 hours ago Β·

    Christina Menezes hey…gud one….wish I was around to catch your expression…I can just picture it….btw, laughed till i cried on reading the “middle wife” one…..
    57 minutes ago Β·

    Suba Pradha hey vani – keep up writing – will pick some ideas to manage – that i may need in a few yrs to come πŸ˜‰
    56 minutes ago Β·

  7. Laksha says:

    LOL at the “before I get pregnant ok?” part! Hilarious, but scary too the correlations kids make. I admire how you explained the vaginal birth to O. When did you tell her this? And how young is too young to tell your chldren this? On that note, I should share what my son did when was 3. When he put his hand on my breast and asked me what it was, I told him “This is a breast”. And he asked me if moms have breasts and I said that yes, mommies do have breasts. So he brings his class picture and says “A is a mom I think amma”. I was shocked and asked him why he said that and he says “She has breasts”. Sure enough in the picture, the girl is wearing a spaghetti strapped dress that gathered at the breastbone and was cut in a V. Sure enough in the picture she looked like she had breasts!”. My son then said he was going to ask A where her baby was! I had a hard time trying to get him to forget about this and that picture hasn’t come out since then! A lot of friends thought I should have just told him it was my chest when he asked me but I still don’t agree. Anyway, good luck with finding your explanation!

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