If I were a mare…

Today I spent an hour at a premium stable that’s home to over a hundred of the best Arabian horses in the world. And…

Not from the above mentioned stable, for display reasons alone. Link shows the source.

1. I now truly get the term ‘stud’ — if I were a mare… neigh!

2. Ringside view of genetic selection. Saw where the stallions are mounted, and the container into which they ejaculate. The railing where the mares are impregnated. In fact, as we were leaving the stables, saw a mare, tail up in the air and two men at work!

Only IVF permitted at the stables. Some of the semen is used on mares at the stable, some are sold, and some used on mares in stables outside Doha.

3. In my next life I want to be a show horse. A stallion, preferably. Gorgeous beasts. And what a life. Their spa routine includes a trot, a bit on the treadmill, a swim in the pool, followed by some serious grooming.

But I would also like to get it off with a mare every now and then, and not just pump my goodies into a plastic bottle all the time, even if it’s for the greater good of well-bred snobbery.

4. ALL mums and babies give out the same vibe. No matter what the species. Went to the ‘nursery’ where gestating mares, foals and their maters are housed.

The gestating mare looked tired and weary — no pregnancy glow there.

The legends outside each stall reveal that the most popular paters are an award-winning stud, and his award-winning son. Slightly incestuous, but that doesn’t matter I suppose.

The foals were curious and sticking their cute little(ish) heads out to be petted. Closely followed by the aggressive mums, ears flattened, teeth bared. Beautiful bonds.

5. Darker skinned horses are the most beautiful — majestic. There is also an aura of arrogance around the show horses. Not dissimilar to ramp models. That amount of attention and preening is good for neither man nor beast, I guess.

6. From now on, the ‘stud’ description will be reserved only for guys who have at least a fraction of these fellows’ charisma.