are you what you are?

months ago, we did a perception vs reality piece for one of the magazines i edit*.

for each person there were 2 sets of similar questions, one to be answered by self and the other by a colleague. the 2 sets of answers were then compared to see the gaps.

there were no great revelations, except that one guy thought he was quite a casanova, while the other(s) thought he was plain creepy. so i assumed, what you think of yourself is more or less what you were.

to get to the point, if there is one at all, i’ve realised over the last week that there is a rather large gap between how i perceive myself and how others see me.

i would show the finger, if it weren’t that some of them play an important role in my life at present (whether i like it or not).

i’ve been told that:

i am high-maintenance (when i always thought i was easy to be with).

i am paranoid (and i thought i trusted quite easily. i often forget to lock the house, and the little jewellery i own lies around unguarded. or am i just careless?).

i am overly sensitive (but i’m only moderately so).

i take offence easily (ok, only sometimes).

i find a problem when none exists (only to find a solution, come on!).

ok, it’s not always the negative stuff that takes me by surprise. it’s also the compliments. i can’t identify with much of how people see me. every time i receive praise professionally or otherwise, i feel like a fraud.

if they could read the speech bubble over my head, it would read: “how long can i continue fooling him/her?”

Does anyone else feel this way? Or am I really losing my marbles?

*with caps and all. i just like how lower case looks.
Advertisements

9 thoughts on “are you what you are?

  1. sindhu says:

    LOL..Honestly…The Office has opened the humour angle in ur writing..loving it (Hope u remain this way).
    And we all know it is not an easy task to write this way.
    The bubble above u must have the message, “There I have fooled her yet again!”

  2. Nilu says:

    LOL, that’s quite funny(“There I have fooled her again). I would love to see the questionnaire. Would be interesting to do the same quiz at home with my family.

  3. Laksha says:

    Okay, this is wo wierd that your posts resonate so much with me 🙂 After ten years in the same group, I am still waiting for someone to pop into my cube and fire me “as they realized they made a mistake in hiring me and that you are not really as smart as we thought you were” 🙂 Every review I get, I feel like I have really pulled the wool over people’s eyes (again). And the other stuff – spot on!

  4. Nilu says:

    Swaram/Laksha,

    I always felt the opposite. I felt my potential was not fully exploited at the places that I worked. Maybe I just took up some lousy jobs.

    Nilu

I would love to hear your feedback. So write to me: umm.of.on@gmail.com

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s