months ago, we did a perception vs reality piece for one of the magazines i edit*.
for each person there were 2 sets of similar questions, one to be answered by self and the other by a colleague. the 2 sets of answers were then compared to see the gaps.
there were no great revelations, except that one guy thought he was quite a casanova, while the other(s) thought he was plain creepy. so i assumed, what you think of yourself is more or less what you were.
to get to the point, if there is one at all, i’ve realised over the last week that there is a rather large gap between how i perceive myself and how others see me.
i would show the finger, if it weren’t that some of them play an important role in my life at present (whether i like it or not).
i’ve been told that:
i am high-maintenance (when i always thought i was easy to be with).
i am paranoid (and i thought i trusted quite easily. i often forget to lock the house, and the little jewellery i own lies around unguarded. or am i just careless?).
i am overly sensitive (but i’m only moderately so).
i take offence easily (ok, only sometimes).
i find a problem when none exists (only to find a solution, come on!).
ok, it’s not always the negative stuff that takes me by surprise. it’s also the compliments. i can’t identify with much of how people see me. every time i receive praise professionally or otherwise, i feel like a fraud.
if they could read the speech bubble over my head, it would read: “how long can i continue fooling him/her?”
Does anyone else feel this way? Or am I really losing my marbles?
*with caps and all. i just like how lower case looks.