Letters to everyone, random rants … and other such blah! blah!

I am consciously going to be a bitch — and live up to a label I try too hard to fight off. Here is to the real me! Bring on the crankies, and get ready for the nasties.

****

Dear City of Brussels,

I love your chocolates. And your comic heritage. But dark streets, poor lighting, and black road dividers? Not so much.

Your emergency services? Not at all!

Sorely,

Nosey

ps: Hamad hospital A&E rocks!
****

Dear Chocolatiers,

You’ve spoilt kitkat and toblerones for me. Nothing but the finest from Neuhaus or Marcolini will do henceforth.

Love,

Sweet tooth

****

Dear cowardly liar (you know who you are),

Say it to my face.

Don’t lick my ass and then go behind my back with accusations (even the valid ones) because I don’t get a chance to respond. So the bullshit I was given — ‘You took me out of depression by motivating me to work’, ‘You take on too much with a little baby’, ‘You made me a journalist’, ‘We do so much because she (meaning me) does so much’ — is officially rejected, and politely given back to you to stick up your various orifices. Instead I am buying what you said behind my back, that makes me a far livelier person.

And may your creativity thrive in all the stories you spin — good luck!

Best (really),

Queen B

*****

Dear pint-sized dy-no-mite,

Thanks for missing my nose. I don’t think it would have survived another trauma. But seriously, your aim sucks. And it is very ungentlemanly to throw chairs in what was meant to be a professional debate.

Or were you preparing for a career in politics in the country you are going back to?

And get over it, you are not a gift to all mankind.

With no love lost,

Slightly-shaken-but-not-stirred

*****

Dear Me,

Bosses are never liked, let alone loved. Live with it, and stop trying to please everyone — you are not paid for that. Unless your job is that of a ‘ho.

Sincerely,

Me

ps: Learn to duck with grace

****

Ever wondered how a man’s normal tone of authority (or even rudeness) is accepted or brushed off, but if it’s from a woman every nerve is set on fire? Gender discrimination any one?

****

Dear dumb-ass admin folks in Salatha Ortho,

Chips, fizzy drinks, nuts, kawha… stop the party, and get working you dumb b*****es. There are bleeding and broken limbed people waiting to meet the doc.

Regards,

Tired.

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11 thoughts on “Letters to everyone, random rants … and other such blah! blah!

  1. Kisara says:

    You are delightful…do you know that?! Laughing out loud here!! And when I’m done I am going back to fuming…but for now I am going to sit here, read this over and laugh again.

  2. teesu says:

    Great Read. Crisp, and leaves just enough scope for imagination! I want to know more about the chair throwing. tell me?

  3. UmmON says:

    @K: Yeah, tough times bring out the joker in me 🙂
    @teesu: that’s going to make one juicy chat, lemme tell you. and by the time i get around to it with you, i maybe out of the shock enough to exaggerate and make it even more exciting 🙂
    @rouserani: you are my guru ma.

  4. shyam says:

    What’s with the Hamad Hospital A&E? Did you have to go there? why? Also, who was throwing chairs? Again, why?

    Enjoyed this post thoroughly 🙂 But I think it needs to be fleshed out with more details!

  5. Vinod says:

    “Dear cowardly liar (you know who you are),

    Say it to my face.”

    You don’t do irony, do you?

    How very, very unpleasant.

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