Act 1. Scene 1. (Wish I had a gun to shoot.)
At my office desk
Me (Brown, female); RandomWhiteGuy (a consultant & soon to be colleague, to be referred to as RWG); Boss
Boss: I have the map for **insert name of popular kids theme park in Dubai**
Me: I love **insert name of popular kids theme park in Dubai**
RWG: I am going there. Do you want to come with me, to take care of my kid.
**What happened in my head: “Are you being sexist or racist, you a$*hole?”, takes out her brass knuckles and punches him in his face**
**What actually transpired (and am so proud of my delivery)**
Me: Could you be more sexist? Would you have said that to a male colleague?
RWG: Ah, you said you liked the place.
Me: Yes, to go to with my kids.
RWG: I have no one to take care of my kid there.
Me: Hire a maid.
RWG: I have a maid, she won’t get a visa.
Me: Do you really want to continue this conversation?
Boss: Maybe it started as a joke…
Me: No, it didn’t. It’s sexist, and I don’t have to tolerate this.
RWG: (Looking clammier than he did few minutes earlier) I didn’t mean to be…
Me: I hope so… (cuts short the conversation and continues with earlier discussion with boss)
Me: (Still awaits an apology)
Fortunately this wasn’t one of those situations where I fumbled, and later, in futility, thought up a response in my head. I am glad I gave it to him directly, to his face. Yet, I am smarting and furious; I so wish I had a gun, or brass knuckles, or something very sharp…
PS1: RWG doesn’t know me. This is our first interaction. So any excuse of him having a banter can’t be accepted.
PS2: I write this in public, because I don’t think this is an official exchange/communication and needs to be treated as a confidential exchange.
PS3: Healing with writing.
Amend: Added location, and the fact RWG will soon be a full-time colleague.
15 thoughts on “All in a day’s work. Sexism, racism or what have you…”
Way to GO, Vani! You handled it beautifully! Seriously, the cheek of that sexist little sh*t, saying what he did!
OMG! Your RWG should be shot into outer space …….
Hit him in the willy. With your handle of your broom/mop/vacuum cleaner 😉
Or the knife with which I chop my veggies?
There’s always truth in a joke. Even if he wasn’t being sexist or racist, he was making an implicit reference to the power differential in your relationship. Anyone who needs to prove how powerful he/she is, doesn’t have much.
So true. And I’ve been told I can’t take a joke by more than one racist/sexist person.
are you serious? That is seriously not cool!
I know. 😦
I too wish you had a gun Vani, but then your retorts were just as good a slap too!
The man had some nerve to say all that he did. You know you should share this incident with rest of your colleagues and clients, let everyone what kind of sick mentality this person has!
The colleagues who matter know. It happened at my desk. And the rest would know now D. But hey, you know what, it happens all the time and most people choose to keep quiet and not make a scene. I am glad I didn’t.
i am glad you didn’t, too.
glad that u gave him straight!! 🙂
Wow! Misogyny and racism rolled into one giant asshole comment!
I’m so glad you said something.
Haha because I was reading this with a little haste, I almost didn’t realize RWG and Boss aren’t the same person until the very end. I guess add to the office space stereotype that the boss is usually some RWG. We all have our preconceived notions about things or people whether we like it or not I guess right?