An odd coupling: Another tale from Ethiopia

He is white, balding, with a beer belly, and prone to patting his neck. She is tiny, in impossibly tall heels and proportionately short skirt. Pints of beer and football on the big screen.

The waitress circles them, refilling and clearing. The bartender watches over her. The other white men – some balding, some not, some with a wedding band and others merely with an untanned strip where a previous reminder of loyalty lay – pass sideward glances.

Everyone is gathered for football. Everyone is thinking of that night’s lay.

The girl’s laugh is surprisingly loud as if that tiny body could no longer hold all the mirth within.

As the night grows old and the beer grows warm, his interest in football wavers. Briefly. Goal! He is immersed right back into the 70-inch screen.

She senses a waning interest and smartly throws her bare, shapely legs over the arm of the chair, and he instinctively reaches for one, and strokes it. Absentmindedly.

She tugs at his shirtsleeves, her laugh now a tinkle. He leans over and bumps forehead with her, going straight back to the game.

She rises. Pats the skirt over her ample rump, and sways to the washroom.

In the white man’s country, would she even be considered old enough to be allowed into the sports bar?

She has his attention now. The sweating men on screen forgotten briefly.

The game ends. Everyone seems gregarious and disappointed at the same time.

The other white men watch the coupling of this pair, that should have been unusual, but is all too common. In impoverished nations around the world, young girls wait for an escape. A smitten old man is a start.

Lonely white men, I can’t speak for.

Note: An after-hours story from my recent work trip to Ethiopia


Will the idiots now shut up about pre-marital sex?

Remember this happened nearly FIVE years ago?


The Supreme Court today quashed 22 criminal cases filed against actress Khusboo for her remarks on pre-marital sex.


22 cases! Crazy jobless buggers who filed the cases… half of whom I’m sure have multiple-wives and mistresses.

Here is an interesting (though I don’t quite like the tone) comparison of MF Hussain and Khushboo.

And if you are from the sub-continent, please do take the poll — would be interesting to know how many of you guys had PMS.

Why do intelligent women get cheated on? Or why are some folks easier than 1,2,3…

 And what would you do in a ‘not-so-ideal’ marital situation?
Humour me and answer some of the questions I pose.

I keep reading about it amongst celebrities, I have seen it amongst friends and acquaintances. About 90% of infidelities are about intelligent women being cheated upon. Or real nice guys being cuckolded.


Last night I was reading Elizabeth Edwards interview with Oprah, on her husband John Edwards’ public and painful extramarital affair, and that too when she was battling cancer.

Yet, the woman doesn’t come across as a doormat or someone to be pitied. She seems strong and very much in control of the situation. But how does she wake up every morning to the face – albeit a handsome one – that caused her that much embarrassment and humiliation?

And what about the obviously fake marriage the Clintons parade? Why would an intelligent, accomplished woman like Hillary put up with that kind of shit? Did she really need the Clinton tag to succeed?

Why do men cheat on intelligent women?

And why do women cheat on nice guys?

The dumb women have faithful husbands, and the nasty men have devoted wives… it’s not a generalisation, except that it probably is!


I am sure we are not without temptations. There must be that other guy who makes you check your make-up twice; the one that makes you feel sexy; the woman who reaffirms your masculinity; the one who laughs at the jokes your wife finds insipid.


I am quite sure we all come across people (other than our spouses) who make us feel good about ourselves.


But is that the cue to jump into bed with the next available flirty-jack or frisky jane?


Extramarital affairs happen all the time. There is no denying that.


But would YOU put up with it?


Call me old-fashioned, but if you are married you better make sure little-johnny doesn’t go wandering, and you don’t allow trespassers on your territory.

If there are children involved, it’s all the more reason to maintain faith.


If you are in an oppressive or unhappy relationship, break it off before you go seeking greener pastures.


Easier said than done I am sure… and I am only saying.


I tell R if he cheats on me out of lust, I will forgive him. But if he falls in love with another, I will hunt him down.


That brings me to this next — what is the deal with multiple-wives? It is not rare to see polygamous families here. And invariably the children as SO SCREWED UP and out of control.

I wonder how the wives resist the temptation to poison each other or their husband.


Would YOU be a co-wife?


I have a few friends who are open about being the ‘other woman’, and say they don’t believe in marriage, and if the wife has a problem she should take care of it. Actually the husband should take care of it!


Would YOU be the other woman?


And if you absolutely must cheat on your husband or wife, who would it be with? Just a hypothetical question.


PS: And to the last question, my answer is Stephen King. Not only because I am in love with him, and I love a man who can weave a story, but also because I am pretty sure he will scare me back to my family.

The last f**k

i received validation for a decision i took 12 years ago, and i learnt a lesson about living life to the fullest, till the very last minute.
and all from a truckload of lamb being led to the slaughterhouse.
so here i am rushing to an appointment, and right in front of me is a truck load of lamb. They are packed in tight, and i was upset wondering if they knew that was their last drive ever? and just feeling glad that I turned vegetarian a dozen years ago.
So that’s my validation.

Then I saw them jostle each other, and one in particular seemed like it would fall over the flimsy barrier holding them in. And there I was thinking, “The bastards could not even get them a comfortable truck. They are literally on top of each other.”
And then it hit me. They were! At least one of them managed to find some lust/romance in that sad moment, and was humping away. I was so hysterical with laughter, I almost lost control of the wheel.
So that’s the lesson in life. If I am going to be led to the slaughterhouse, I am going to make sure I have one last good fuck!

A Cure for Orgasm

A cure for Multiple Orgasm? Maybe even a vaccination in due time? Wouldn’t that just make half the world ecstatic!
This video is absolutely hilarious, and just about sums up the male-female take on orgasm and sexual satisfaction.
It is the unachievable for some, the non-existent for others.
Ya-ya party discussions sometimes tread on this (depending on the comfort level of the women present), and almost right away one can make out the FAKERS from the FEELERS.
The FAKERS begin with a confused giggle (orgasm? is that a bacterial growth in my vagina?) and the when wisdom dawns slowly, they agree vehemently without offering details, because they claim they are too shy to do so (thank heavens it is not a bacterial growth, but then why aint’t I getting it?).
The FEELERS know that next time around, at the get together for spouse and offspring, all eyes would be on her husband. That elusive male, who walks the talk.
The FAKER holds tighter to her husband, hoping that the closer she stays, the sooner it would grow (not the bacteria, but the orgasm, that even wikipedia doesn’t have satisfactory explanation for).
At the next ya-ya party, there is a showing of When Harry Met Sally, to help FAKERS master their art.